Meet Consul Shaka of the Zulus.
"She said she liked feathers, so I killed her favorite bird and made myself a crown out of it."
During my game, this guy has been nothing but a bully. Granted, Shaka's favorite style of victory is Domination, where you conquer all of the civilizations on the map, but I was stunned to find that, as time passed, this guy only grew into a monster. He has nine out of Maria the First of Poland's ten cities as puppets, has made war twice on Alexander the Great (One of my friends from the get-go), has threatened to make war on nearly every country on the planet, and has even had the gall to denounce me a few thousand times.
Lets put this in perspective. Right now, the world is in the early 2000's, and Shaka is running with rifleman and cannons. I'm packing XCOM squads and nuclear submarines. Shaka is still learning how to fly, and I have a carrier loaded for bear off of the coast of his capital. Shaka has no idea how to make a grenade, and I just split the atom. The AI for Shaka is either dim, or crazy, and both have ended up with him as World's Most Wanted.
"But Doc, you smexy piece of manliness and attitude," You may ask, "Why didn't you and your tanks of holy glory roll over this bastard years ago? You could've saved yourself a load of trouble!" Easy. Because I knew all I had to do was wait. Waiting, eventually, paid off.
"Knock knock. Who's there? Me, with Cherno Alpha and the Red Army. Get on my уровень."
Meet Consul Catherine of Russia. Ever since our Civs encountered each other, I've developed a storyline in my head, where Pocatello and Catherine meet often to counsel and advise each other on wise actions and trade. We've adopted the same policies, the same ideologies, and have been great friends since day one. Her people are great fans of Shosone fashion and style, and we, in return, have adopted their religion as our own.
And then Shaka decided to push her around.
Well, the Pocatello in my head wouldn't stand for this level of bullshit. A dozen battleships, five destroyers, three nuclear submarines, and one carrier loaded with bombers later, he seemed to get the idea that I didn't take kindly to his shenanigans. He made peace with Cat short after that, and I was already gearing up to hit him where it hurt. However, I knew that I would be labeled a warmonger for doing so, and I was pretty happy with the current peace.
Until one day...
"...So then I sacrificed her to my hungry gods. Teach that bitch to cheat on me."
I could see the event unfold in my head. Pocatello had just finished negotiating trade with Montezuma, our friend and neighbor, when the news arrived: One of Shaka's cities has rebelled, and is now flying the Shosone black-and-blue standard. We wasted no time in securing our foothold there. Why?
Because the Shoshone get a flat bonus when fighting on their own turf. And now, we had one right at Shaka's doorstep.
This was the beginning of something big, and I could see Pocatello grinning in my head. One by one, correspondents came in from across the world, issuing alerts that the nations of the world had suffered enough of Shaka's bull, and were now readying for war with the Zulus.
And there I was, with XCOM Squads and the Bomb. Who was I to decline their invitation to bring justice across the Zulu country?
I've told them all to give me ten turns to prepare. Those turns end tomorrow, and I'll issue my first (and hopefully last) war correspondence from the battlefield. I know we will fight, and I know we will win.
How do I know that?
Because we are the Shoshone.
And we know no fear.
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